In 2022, I made three decisions that looked like a quarter life crisis.
I ended a seven-year relationship. I resigned from a six-figure product design career (pre-revenue, no plan in place). Aaaand, I shaved my long locks off.
From the outside, it might have looked like a menty B. But I knew it wasn't. It felt like the life I was living wasn't entirely what I wanted deep down.
The thing about starting over: it rarely looks like starting over from the inside. It looks like a series of smaller, quieter choices that eventually add up to a life that's actually yours.
(Well, idk if the buzz cut was a 'quiet' choice, it kinda shocked everyone around me)
On the break up.
I was a serial monogamist. Hadn't been single since I was sixteen. My seven-year relationship was fine, actually. They were a kind person, a great friend, someone I could see a life with. But there were a few things missing that we couldn't close the gap on, and eventually we decided to go our own way.
I was thirty-two. I had spent half of my life jumping from one LTR to another, and not figuring out who I was outside of a relationship. That felt like information worth having.
I decided to stay single for at least a year. No flirting, no dating, no hookups. Nothing. The shaved head was a symbol of not performing for external validation, not dressing for the male gaze. Apparently your hair holds a lot of baggage from the past. I can confirm this is true.
The year alone was the first time I had time to myself that to spend however I wanted without needing to consider what the future might look like with someone. Just my own path. It was in this period that I had clarity on what I wanted my life to look like. I decided to join online courses and communities that were geared towards entrepreneurship. And not just 'startup bro'/big tech type stuff, but smaller indie hacker/solopreneur spaces. I spent a lot of time at home tinkering with no-code tools and design software. My dream was to work on my own terms, be the master of my own time, and see the world.
I'm not saying that relationships aren't good, but if you're a serial relationship-ist like I was, we might not have had the space to reflect on how we truly want to live, long term. Or the space to work on our own projects in our down time.
On the job.
My tech role was the first time my salary hit six figures. I was a strategic designer advising other founders. Launch strategy, UX, how to build a minimum viable product and what the future phases would look like.
I was good at it. But I kept noticing a gap between the advice I was giving and the thing I hadn't done myself. I was telling founders how to launch lean, how to validate before building, how to move fast without a full product. And I'd never actually walked that walk myself.
I took a four-month break from my job. Came back. And then, shortly after returning, handed in my resignation. Pre-revenue. No plan beyond a direction. I was simultaneously terrified and also very sure.
What actually followed.
What followed was a non linear trajectory, two steps forward, one step back. I started a few businesses (most of them fizzled). Then i got genuinely worried about money and did a short stint back in employment when a position fell into my lap. And then: leaving again.
Because no matter what I did, I couldn't stop that part of me that deeply wanted autonomy over my time, my location, and the sense of accomplishment from making my own money.
I've launched seven businesses. This website you're on (Panache Themes, my design focused business) came from applying the same minimum viable principles I used to advise other founders on. No expensive brand. No waiting until it was perfect. A lean build, a clear offer, and a willingness to iterate once real customers told me what was actually useful.
I'm currently running it from a laptop across South East Asia and am at slightly more than ramen profitability. What they call the messy middle, before an entreprenur has "made it".
The thing nobody says about starting over
Most people treat "starting over" like a single moment. The resignation letter, the breakup, the dramatic gesture. It's not. It's a long series of small inklings as you reflect upon your life, and then small choices that slowly reorient you toward something that feels right, more you.
The cold feet are part of it. The step back before moving forward is still progress. The businesses that fizzle is not a sign of failure.
The question I'd ask anyone toying with the idea of change isn't "are you ready?". You won't ever feel ready. It's
will you be happy staying where you are, and be satisfied with the path not taken?
For me, the answer was no. That was enough.
"But I don't have the cashflow" argument
Having enough cashflow to start a business is not a prerequisite. That is a misunderstanding. The first business I started in with a friend whilst I was still a fulltime nine to fiver. I validated used a Squarespace site with a colour palette from Pinterest and stock illustrations. We didn't even have a product yet, just paid ads directing to a waiting list hosted on Google Forms. What mattered wasn't the brand. It was the signal of demand. It worked: we got 100 sign ups running Meta ads for 5 days on a $20/day budget. That's the lean startup principle in practice: you need a reason to build, not a reason to look like you've already built it.
Panache exists because good design doesn't have to mean expensive design or a dependency on a designer. If you're in the early stages of building something, you can find strategic resources that allow you to look established in mere days and start booking clients or filling up your waiting list. Perhaps you'll find the signal you're looking for.